Tell Me What You Want
by 7cm-away-from-you
Summary: Seryou learns good things can come from asking Yuzuru exactly what he wants from him.


The kiss reminded him of chemistry lessons in school, when if the right two elements were put together, they'd explode. But as always, Yuzuru pulled back only moments later, Touji's lips following him unconsciously, searching desperately for that source of warmth which made his heart beat so erratically. Yuzuru had picked him up from High school as he did often once he graduated. Touji hated how they saw each other increasingly less, on lonely days the yearning feeling inside his heart to see the other sometimes become overwhelming. He cursed himself for being so selfish, as Yuzuru's university workload was heavy yet he still made time for him, so he was satisfied. They wandered around aimlessly, chatting about anything which came to mind, until they saw a one-day fair near Houka academy. Yuzuru bought them both tickets, despite his partner's initial refusal, and that is where they spent the day. They spent most of the day eating (or rather Touji simply enjoyed watching the slight of Yuzuru eating messily) and ended up only going on one fair ground ride. His senior had tightly gripped the railing feeling the contents of his stomach making an unwanted reappearance, cursing his own spontaneous character for putting him in this mess. Yuzuru remembered how his boyfriend simply smiled warmly at him and held his hand to calm him down. But Yuzuru, both embarrassed and angry at himself for being a coward, had shrugged the other boy off. Touji didn't mind, he knew his senpai was trying, and failing, to appear strong in front of him and he found it adorable. They made their way back to the bridge which held so much of their history.

He looked down at the view in front of them, in an effort to force his heart to calm down. Touji fiercely gripped the railing of the bridge and frowned despite himself. Yet again, it all ended too soon. He couldn't help the greedy feeling which was roused inside of him, screaming ' _I want more'._ Yuzuru's bursts of passions came out of nowhere, they were sudden and too brief, for Touji's liking anyway. He glanced at Yuzuru, who seemed uncharacteristically deep in thought, and then back at the view. Only a few months ago Yuzuru had asked him out for the second time, at his very spot. They were able to see Yuzurus house from here. Yuzuru being his usual aloof self didn't notice his underclassman's dissatisfaction. Touji lifted his hand to reach out for the other but he pulled back, not wanting to anger him. However, he was reminded of what the older boy had told him last week.

 _Touji had dropped Yuzuru off at his apartment, he had wanted so badly a goodbye kiss from his boyfriend, but instead he had stared quietly at Yuzuru for a while, looking at the other boy's lips; Yuzuru hadn't taken the hint and simply looked at him strangely before going inside his apartment, closing the door in Touji's face. Whatever wire was loose inside Yuzuru's brain the day before must have connected and sparked, as the next day at their usual meeting spot of the train station, Touji was greeted with an uncalled for smack on the head._

" _Yuzuru-san! I-I don't understand, what was that for!?" Touji had asked, blushing profusely at his usual fan clubs look of disbelief. He was beyond confused at his boyfriends frequent mood swings. Yuzuru regarded Touji's pink cheeks and grinned, and despite being confused Touji couldn't help but find his grin with the combination his bedhead infinitely attractive ('ah, he must have woken up late again', he mused )_

" _Heh, look at your face! You really are a masochist," Yuzuru prodded his cheek. One of the girls squealed._

" _Yuzuru-san!" Touji was appalled that he could say such a thing in public, especially in front of his classmates. He never cared much what other students at Houka Academy thought about him, as stories and rumours, in many variations, about his dating habits were always prevalent at school. But Yuzuru making him act this way in front of the very girls who thought of him as a prince was downright embarrassing. One of the said girls moved in front of Yuzuru and squeezed Seryou's arm in concern,_

" _Seryou-kun are you ok?" she asked, her hand about to reach for the point of impact of Seryou's head, but Yuzuru quickly pulled his kouhai towards him,_ _glaring_ _at where she touched him. Touji gulped, 'oh no I think I'm in trouble'. Although aware of his boyfriends frequent bursts of anger, the thought made him somewhat happy. He realized that he really was strange._

" _We'll see you girls tomorrow, I have to talk to Seryou!" he huffed, letting going off his_ _partners_ _arm, and rapidly walking out of the train station. Touji obediently followed him._

" _Yuzuru-san! Please wait for me!" he ran up the station stairs after him, rubbing his sore head. Yuzuru didn't so much as glance behind to check Touji if he was ok, instead he walked faster, hoodie up and hands in his pockets. Suddenly, his senpai turned around, causing Touji to crash into him. Yuzuru looked at him, narrowing his eyes._

" _You really are an idiot aren't you?"_

" _Ah .. Yuzuru-san I'm really confused right now . . ." Touji trailed off, looking down, too scared to look at his boyfriend's intense glower._

" _Those girls are really touchy with you, Seryou." he replied bluntly._

" _Huh?" Touji was now truly at a loss for words. That couldn't be the reason Yuzuru let his frustration out on his poor head, as that happened only after he hit him. So why was he angry? Maybe Touji had handled the situation wrongly? He should have let go as soon as she touched him! Touji wondered is something like this counted as cheati-_

" _I'm talking about just now," he glared. Touji thought the older boy could make water freeze with such a look._

" _That's because you hit me, Yuzuru-san," Touji blurted out, then bit his lip, knowing full well that was the completely wrong thing to say when it came Yuzuru._

" _Seriously? That was nothing! Ah, well I wouldn't expect anything else from someone pampered as much as you," he huffed yet again. Touji pouted, knowing he couldn't deny his lavish upbringing._

" _But I'm still confused…" he confessed._

" _I can't remember why I did that, and its all your fault." Yuzuru looked him with an eyebrow raised, a look which almost had Touji believing that yes, everything was his fault. He looked at the other boy in disbelief, he was still confused, but couldn't help but find his senpai's forgetfulness lovable. He smiled to himself, which seemed to piss Yuzuru off even more._

" _You really do love pain!" he yelled, touching the sore patch on the back of the others head. Touji instinctively moved back from his touch, wincing in pain. Yuzuru frowned and moved his hand from Touji's head to his cheek, cupping it. He began to softly stroke Seryou's cheek, causing the other to look at him, wide-eyed._

" _Maybe I did hit you a little harder than I thought, but . . ." his senpai admitted, looking right him in eye, his hand trailing to the side to brush his unruly fringe behind a pale ear, slightly brushing the mole under his kouhai's eyebrow._

" _Y-yes?" Touji stuttered from the contact. He was under the impression that maybe, just maybe, his upperclassman may have it in him to say something romantic, and make everything better._

" _Its your own fault." He deadpanned, letting go of Touji's face and nodding, as if agreeing with himself. The younger boy felt a pang of disappointment. Touji opted not to answer this time and let his partner explain, as whenever he did try and protest, such as objecting against Yuzuru's claims of his masochistic nature, it ended going full circle and hitting him in the face (quite literally, this time)._

" _Looking at that helpless look on your face made me remember," Yuzuru continued, waiting for his boyfriend to reply, but when all he did was look at the ground again, he persisted,_

" _When you want something, you need to say it Seryou,"_

" _I don't know what you mean Senpai . . ."_

" _Yesterday you wanted me to kiss you goodbye, but you said nothing," he asserted, moving closer to Touji, who was too stunned to even move._

" _I'm right, aren't I?" he insisted, whispering into Touji's ear, a strand of his light hair brushing the others cheekbone. It took all of 5 seconds for the words to sink in and Seryou's face to burst into colour. Touji's brain began to malfunction as it often did around Yuzuru, he tightly gripped the strap of his shoulder bag and glanced around to see if anyone was in their vicinity. How could Yuzuru say such things so openly!?_

" _I-I- er…"_

" _You what?"_

" _I'm . . ." embarrassed, confused and . . ._ _relieved. Touji had believed he had done something to genuinely insult the other, racking his brain for an instance in which he might have done so. So knowing that Yuzuru-san had simply over-reacted to something so simple was a relief. His lover often pulled stunts like this, so he was trying to learn to sit tight and wait for Yuzuru to reveal his intentions. It almost made him happy that the older boy cared about what he wanted- something which couldn't be said about the string of girls he dated, who often pushed their feelings onto him, sometimes even forcing themselves on him. 'But Yuzuru-san . . .he's different. . he would never do that'._

" _I'm sorry, you're right,"_

" _You apologize too easily," he muttered, putting his hands in his pockets and beginning to walk again._

" _But you wanted me to apologize," Touji pouted. He never could never understand what the other wanted. He changed his mind or direction of thought like the wind changed its course. Although he would be lying if he said Yuzuru constantly keeping him on his toes didn't excite him._

" _Why would I want that? I just want you to listen to me! From now on make it clear what you want, ok? I mean I am your boyfriend after all," Yuzuru demanded. Touji held on his bag even tighter, his elegant fingers beginning to slightly colour from chaffing, much like his face already had. 'He's doing it again, saying such words so openly'. This aspect of Yuzuru caused Touji the most distress, and yet it was the thing he loved most about him. Touji began to wonder if he really did like pain. He decided to agree with his boyfriend, as this often had the best results. Besides, what he was saying was for Seryou's benefit._

" _Ah . . . I understand Yuzuru-san. I will try from now on to do that," he said firmly. At this Yuzuru turned around and shot him a stunning smile. Touji was left awe struck. Listening to him did indeed give the best results._

" _Good boy," he teased, but his step faltered when Seryou latched onto bicep._

" _Eh? What do you think you're doing?" this time it was Yuzuru's turn to blush._

" _Y-you said if I wanted anything . . ." Touji trailed off. He was the first one to make a move and kiss Yuzuru all those months ago, but that was before he truly fell for him. Now, asking for the smallest thing was a daunting task. Yuzuru's expression lit up in understanding. He really could be dense sometimes. He smiled once again, placing his left hand on top of Touji's on his own arm. Suddenly the atmosphere grew warm, the polar opposite of what it had been seconds ago._

" _I get it now," he he grinned unmoving. Once again, Touji's heart beat erratically, but he felt he was forgetting one thing- he looked around noticing not one person dressed in a school uniform._

" _Er, Yuzuru-san, aren't we going to be late?" his senpai's expression went from serene to full on panic._

" _Shit!" Yuzuru almost dragged the other to school. He never once let go of Touji's grip._

The younger boy smiled at the memory. Although Yuzuru seemed content contemplating something while looking at their omnipresence view, it couldn't hurt to simply _ask_ , right? Touji breathed and built his courage.

"Yuzuru-san could you please-"

"Hey Seryou!" he was cut off, the other hadn't heard him at all. He was slightly annoyed, but at least he tried. Yuzuru's fast approaching face soon made this annoyance dissipate anyway. His hair fell lightly across one eye, the setting sun making his hair and tan skin glow slightly amber. His large, expressive eyes had the illusion of appearing golden. _He was so beautiful._

"I'm ready to try that again, if you want? I'm sorry I was a bit nervous the fist time round," he confessed, grabbing Seryou's hand, looking very much embarrassed. The younger boys brain promptly began running in overdrive- _'huh? He was nervous kissing me?! I would never have thought he'd admit it that easily… ah he's blushing, how cut-_

"I really thought I was gonna throw up the first time!" Yuzuru announced. Touji's brain came to halt and he frowned deeply. What a cruel thing to say. Was kissing him that bad?

"What?"

"I'd never actually been on such a big ride before, so I felt really sick and was scared so I didn't wanna go on another one. I'm sorry I know you wanted to go on them, its just they kinda freak me out, you know? Ugh this is so embarrassing! I was worried you were bored just watching me eating the whole time," Yuzuru looked away talking rapidly to get his confession over with. He really didn't want Seryou to think of him as a wimp, but knowing he had just gone along with him for the sake of it without enjoying it himself really pissed him off. His underclassman stared at him for a long time, until he burst out laughing, burying his giggles in others shoulder. Yuzuru blushed and aggressively pushed the other off him,

"You think this is funny? You idiot, I was scared!" he yelled. Touji shook his head,

"No, you see I was deceived again . . ." the dark haired boy couldn't stop his laughter. This whole situation was truly a mess.

"Huh? Isn't that my line?" blinked Yuzuru.

"I... I thought you said kissing me made you feel sick. I was really devastated Yuzuru-san . . ." Touji couldn't hide his pout his time,

"Are you can idiot? You're definitely an idiot!" Yuzuru fumed. He grabbed both of Touji's arms and was incredibly close, he swore he could see Yuzuru's ears fuming. He smiled at his boyfriends appalled reaction. He adored it when Yuzuru fussed over him.

"You just answered your own question Yu-"

"Kissing you is amazing Seryou! It's almost as good as sleeping, there, I said it!" he bellowed at other, their noses almost touching. A shrill spark of electricity ran up Seryou's spine at their physical contact, despite its hostile nature.

"Then why do you end it so quickly?" Touji atypically blurted out. His hand shot up to cover his own mouth. _He hadn't meant to say that! What if Yuzuru-san got angry with him again?_

"Tha-that's-" Yuzuru's grip tightened even more, his dense self beginning to glitch even more than normal,

"That's because I didn't want to get carried away!"

"What?"

"Did you really think I hate kissing you? And you call me the dense one! I just don't want to start something _I know_ I can't stop, ok?"

"You don't have to stop!" Touji couldn't believe he was saying this.

"Are you serious?" asked Yuzuru.

"I m-mean I was going to a-ask you t-to-" the younger one tripped over his own words. Yuzuru-san was the only person he was less than eloquent with.

"Spit it out," Yuzuru ordered.

"Yuzuru-san, please kiss me again-" instead of a response he was met with the warmth he so desperately craved, he didn't hesitate to passionately kiss back, escaping from his senpai's grip on his arm to dig his hand in the others hair. Yuzuru did the same around Touji's back, pulling him closer than ever before. They briefly parted for air,

"Yuzuru-sa-" he gasped, his hold on the others hair begging to loosen, as he was under the impression the kiss was over, as Yuzuru often ended it much sooner than this. But he was met by a look he had never seen before. His lover's eyes were hungry, and for the first time he realized, _Yuzuru wanted Touji just as much as Touji so frantically wanted him_. He really was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise. It was unclear who leaned in first, but the two pairs of lips ended up connected once again. Yuzuru's grip, now on his waist, was now almost painful, but Touji melted at every inch of contact, his body unconsciously pressing harder into the other boys touch. He let his mouth be coaxed open, not that it took much effort as he was more than willing, and warmth aggressively entered his mouth, plying it open even further. He panicked when he heard an unrecognizable moan, eventually identifying it as his own less than dignified response. His cheeks were ablaze, much like Yuzuru's, hoping the other hadn't heard it. He tightened his grip on Yuzuru's soft hair and again, kissed back just as intensely, until what felt like a century later, they both parted, grasping for breath.

Yuzuru's chest rose and fell in an effort to breath, he buried his face in the youngers shoulder in an effort to cover his flushed face. He could even feel his ears burning. He knew he was a hypocrite, telling his boyfriend to ask for what he wanted, yet always holding back himself. He had casually desired other people before, but mostly he just fed off the other person's energy and convinced himself it was what he wanted because that's how it _should be_. The deep and evasive way in which he desired his kouhai, in many ways from simply wanting to lean on his shoulder to other less innocent activities _scared him_. He didn't want to be like the people who had abused Seryou's kindness to get their own way, or fill out their idealistic delusions. But now Seryou had made it more than clear he wanted the exact same thing.

"Shit . . . this is all your fault," Yuzuru sighed heavily into Touji's shoulder, feeling light headed. Touji simply held his lover close and laughed, struggling to regain his own breath,

"You've been saying that a lot lately, Yuzuru-san," Seryou giggled.

"Hah, that's cos Its true, you know . . . you probably planned all this right? So cunning!" Yuzuru complained

"I-It's really not like that, I just wanted y-" He began to explain his convoluted reasoning,

"I know what you wanted, more than ever now. I guess good things really do come from speaking up every once in a while?" Yuzuru teased, raising his head off Seryou, having regained his dignity. Seryou merely nodded, feeling frazzled but overwhelmingly happy. He pressed a chaste kiss on Yuzuru's cheek.

"Thank you, Yuzuru-san," he smiled warmly. They stayed still for a long time until finally,

"You're doing it again," Yuzuru commented,

"Doing what?"

"Smiling to yourself, like you know something I don't," Yuzuru drew his brows together. Seryou smoothed them out,

"And what's that?" Seryou openly flirted,

"Hmnn actually it might be something I already know," Yuzuru looked right at him. Seryou raised a brow, as If to ask what exactly.

"You . . .You're thinking that you're in love with me," Yuzuru smirked, as if he'd simply told a joke, so casual you'd have to listen twice to realize the weight of what he just said. Touji found himself looking at him again in disbelief, it was becoming a common occurrence. Almost as common on the pink tinge of his cheeks the comment had also inspired. Yet again the air felt heavy, for Touji at least. ' _How can he say such things, I'll never understand,'._

"You . . ." he began

"Yeah?" teased Yuzuru. Touji thought he should put into practice what his upperclassman had been teaching him. To be truthful to himself. To say what he wanted to say. To be himself, and not simply adapt to what other people wanted him to be. He was so grateful to Yuzuru for teaching him this.

"You're right, Yuzuru-san," Touji declared openly, reaching for Yuzuru's hand without caring who was watching. His senpai smiled in satisfaction.

"I know."

This time it was Touji who claimed Yuzuru's lips.


End file.
